Do You Still Talk to Your Ex?

Picture this, you are walking through the mall on a Saturday afternoon, minding your own business. Then it happens. You hear a laugh. Not just any laugh, the one you know by heart.

You don’t even have to look. You know it’s them. Your ex. The person you once prayed with, planned with, and thought you’d spend forever with.

Your chest tightens, all of a sudden the mall fills like a little room . You try to smile if your eyes meet, but inside, you feel the sting. That’s when you realize, maybe you’re not as “over it” as you thought.

Breakups don’t just end relationships; they expose the condition of your heart.

Let’s Talk About Exes… and Lost Love

So let’s talk about exes—and how to deal with lost love (lol, yes, we’re going there). Because whether you admit it or not, that one person still has a way of echoing in your chest. And how you handle that echo reveals a lot about where you’re headed.

But here’s the truth: sometimes, it’s not even an ex you need to forgive. Sometimes, it’s the first person who ever left you.

Maybe your father walked out when you were young. Or your mother chose another life over raising you. And somewhere along the way, a lie took root in your heart: “All men leave. All women abandon. I can’t trust anyone.”

That wound runs deeper than any breakup. Because before you knew what romance was, you already knew rejection.

And unless it’s healed, every new relationship becomes a battlefield. You expect them to leave. You’re quick to close off. You interpret silence as betrayal.

Forgiving an absent parent doesn’t excuse what they did. It doesn’t mean saying, “It’s fine.” It’s saying: “God, they hurt me. They failed me. But I refuse to let their absence define how I see love. Heal me, so I can love without fear.”

“Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.”
Psalm 27:10

Unforgiveness: A Silent Prison

Whether it’s an ex or a parent, unforgiveness works the same way. It chains you. It poisons your peace. It keeps you rehearsing what happened instead of living what God has promised.

You think withholding forgiveness punishes them. But really, it punishes you.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:31–32

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It means you refuse to stay trapped.

Have you read : You owe them an apology?

Why Forgiveness Changes Everything

1. It’s God’s Command
   “If you forgive… your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” (Matthew 6:14)
2. It Heals Your Soul
   Forgiveness cleanses the wound—even if the scar remains.
3. It Cuts the Rope
   Bitterness ties you to yesterday. Forgiveness snaps the cord and sets you free.

The Trap of Half-Open Doors

Sometimes, the problem isn’t unforgiveness—it’s unfinished business.

That “just checking in” text. That scroll through old pictures. That “just in case” relationship back-up plan.

It’s like moving into a new house while still paying rent on the old one. No wonder you feel stretched.

Jesus said it clearly:

“No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”
Luke 9:62

Looking back keeps you from living forward.

Steps Into Freedom

• Forgive Fully — not because they earned it, but because you need it.
• Close the Door — stop rehearsing “what ifs” with your ex or your past.
• Guard Your Heart — “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
• Take the Lesson, Not the Baggage — wisdom is the souvenir of pain; bitterness is the curse.
• Seek God’s Wholeness — only He can heal the absence of a parent or the betrayal of a lover.

Your ex may be part of your story, but they don’t get to write your future. Your parent may have left, but they don’t get to define what love means for you forever.

So forgive. Release. Close the door.

When you let God heal the past, you stop expecting everyone to leave. You finally make space for the love and life He has prepared for you.

Here is a short prayer to get you started on your forgiveness journey:

Heavenly Father, teach me how to forgive.
Help me let go of the anger, the hurt, and the betrayal that weighs me down.
I release my ex, my parent, and anyone who has wounded me into Your hands.
Heal my heart so I don’t see everyone through the lens of my pain.
Fill me with Your love, so I can walk free, whole, and ready for the future You’ve written for me.
In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.