You Owe Them an Apology: Owning Your Wrongdoing & Breaking Free from Past Relationships

Let’s be real, not all breakups are clean. Sometimes, they leave behind wounds, unresolved pain, and emotional baggage that follow us into future relationships. Maybe you were the one who got hurt, or maybe (if you’re being honest), you were the one who caused the hurt.

If you’ve ever:

• Manipulated someone into staying when you knew you weren’t serious.
• Cheated, lied, or betrayed their trust.
• Led them on, knowing you had no real intentions.
• Gaslighted them by making them feel crazy for questioning your actions.
• Pressured them into things they weren’t comfortable with—including intimacy.
• Disrespected them with your words or actions.
• Abandoned them emotionally, shutting down instead of communicating.
• Refused to take accountability, blaming them for everything.

Then you owe them an apology. Not because you want them back, but because your peace, your healing, and your relationship with God depend on it.

The Bible is clear—unrepented sins and unresolved conflicts don’t just disappear. They create cycles of brokenness and generational patterns that affect not only you but also your future relationships and even your children.

So, why should you apologize? Let’s look at six biblical reasons why making things right is necessary for breaking free and moving forward.

1. Apologizing Acknowledges the Pain You Caused

“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” – Matthew 5:23-24 (NLT)

Jesus makes it clear—before you come to God, go and make things right with the people you’ve hurt.

If you:
✔ Manipulated them into staying, knowing you weren’t serious.
✔ Ghosted them without an explanation.
✔ Used them for attention, validation, or physical intimacy and then discarded them.

Then your silence isn’t helping—it’s hurting. A real apology acknowledges, “I know I hurt you, and I take responsibility for it.”

Is there something you did in a past relationship that you never took responsibility for?

2. Apologizing Breaks the Cycle of Pride

“Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.” – Proverbs 13:10 (NLT)

Pride convinces us that we don’t need to apologize because:
“They hurt me too.”
“It wasn’t that deep.”
“They should be over it by now.”

But pride destroys relationships—not just romantic ones, but friendships, family connections, and even our walk with God.

If you:
Gaslighted them, making them question their own feelings.
Blamed them for everything, refusing to admit your role in the breakup.
Lied to yourself and others to protect your image.

Then you need to humble yourself and own it. The longer you hold onto pride, the more damage it does—not just to them, but to you.

Apologizing isn’t about excusing their behavior—it’s about owning yours and breaking the pattern of toxic relationships.

3. Apologizing Ends Generational Relationship Curses

“You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me.” – Exodus 20:5 (NLT)

Generational curses aren’t just about witchcraft or idol worship—they include:
> Cheating, lying, and breaking trust in relationships.
> Avoiding accountability and blaming others.
> Toxic cycles of emotional and physical abuse.

Maybe you grew up seeing:
Men who disrespected women and never apologized.
Women who manipulated men to get what they wanted.
Parents who never took accountability for their actions.

If you repeat these same patterns, you are continuing the generational cycle. But if you humble yourself and apologize, you are breaking the curse for your future marriage, your children, and those who come after you.

Don’t just walk away—walk away in peace.

4. Apologizing Sets You Free from Emotional Baggage

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” – James 5:16 (NLT)

Carrying unresolved guilt or shame from past relationships will affect your future ones.

If you:
✔ Pressured them into intimacy, making them feel guilty for setting boundaries.
✔ Devalued them, making them feel unworthy of love.
✔ Played mind games, keeping them around for selfish reasons.

Then the weight of your past actions will follow you until you make it right.

Apologizing isn’t just for them—it’s for your own healing.

5. Apologizing Teaches You How to Love Better

“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” – Proverbs 22:6 (NLT)

Apologizing isn’t just about fixing the past—it’s about becoming a better person for the future.

✔ Admitting your mistakes teaches humility.
✔ Owning your actions builds emotional maturity.
✔ Learning from your past helps you love better in the future.

If you never learn to take responsibility, you will continue hurting people without realizing it.

Your future relationships depend on the lessons you learn now.

6. Apologizing Restores Your Relationship with God

“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” – 1 John 1:9 (NLT)

You can’t ask God to bless your future relationships if you’re still carrying the sins of your past. Forgiveness is a two-way street.

✔ You want God to forgive you—but have you made peace with those you’ve wronged?
✔ You want a healthy, Godly relationship—but are you still avoiding accountability for your past ones?

Making things right with others positions you for God’s blessings.

How to Apologize Without Reopening the Relationship

Let’s be clear—apologizing does NOT mean reconnecting. You’re not trying to get back together; you’re just clearing the air.

• Keep it simple & honest:
  “Hey, I just wanted to reach out and say I’m sorry for how I treated you. I realize I hurt you, and I take full responsibility. I’m not reaching out to rekindle anything—I just want to make things right.”
• Be prepared for any response: They might accept it, or they might not. That’s okay—your job is to apologize, not to control their reaction.
• Leave it in God’s hands: Once you’ve done your part, move forward in peace.

It’s Time to Make Things Right

Not every ex deserves a second chance, but every mistake deserves accountability.

Have you ever apologized to an ex? What was your experience? Let’s talk in the comments!

#BreakTheCycle #ApologizeAndHeal #GodfidenceMagazine

Share this post with your friends and family…and your ex too.

>>> Godfidence Magazine on Whatsapp <<<